Embracing Life
Trust versus Love
Trust versus love — two powerful components of human relationships. Which is the most important? What an interesting thought to ponder in February, the time of year when Hallmark cards and Valentine hearts are exchanged.
Recently a respected clergy resigned as reverend from her church. Members of the congregation were up in arms for what they described as poor use of judgment. She refused to report the private confession of an individual seeking divine help for a past indiscretion. Individuals, whom she deeply loved, brutally chastised her for keeping this secret. This honorable woman made the tough decision to leave her church family, rather than break the covenant rule of betraying the trust of a person who sincerely sought spiritual guidance.The same day my friend left her ministry, a very special young lady shared with me the agonizing story of her supposed soul mate. She adores a man who repeatedly makes the same mistakes and then begs for forgiveness. After overlooking her lover’s indiscretions many times, she no longer believes his pleas for mercy and his guarantees to change his ways. His unhealthy decisions, unending lies, and endless excuses eroded her trust and their relationship failed.
My spirit cries for these two women. All I can do is embrace them in hopes of easing their suffering. Empathy and compassion towards their situations is easy for me, as buried deep in my psyche are many years of betrayed trust. As the child of addicts, I learned at a young age that I could not count on my parents. Even though my eternal love for the individuals who gave me existence remains strong, I have chosen to live my adult life primarily separated from their false promises. The many years of pain endured from lost trust in my youth are too difficult to endure on a regular basis as a grown-up.
Love took a backseat to trust in all three of these real life scenarios. Lack of trust resulted in lost love. How sad!
Love is a heavenly gift that helps to maintain peace on earth. If we, the human race, could possibly just love a little more, imagine how fulfilling and enriching our time on the planet could be.
Trust is different from love; it is not readily given or eagerly received, but is very clearly earned and easily lost. Deceit, infidelity and theft are hated by humans and hard to forgive and the more often we feel betrayal, the more difficult it is to trust again. We all share this problem on some level. Society seemingly encourages distrust. We don’t believe ads or sales people; we believe that politicians say what we want to hear. It is interesting to note, according to HealthyPlace.com, “90 percent of us are trustable about 95 percent of the time. We don’t lie as a general rule...” Based on that statistic, it appears that we have learned to distrust others, perhaps without just cause.
Hurt runs deep in our souls when the people we love destroy our ability to trust. It becomes easier to leave the relationship, whether it is a religious affiliation, friendship, or soul mate, than to deal with that inner most pain. Removal of any of these vital life connections means both the loss of love and trust, which are equally devastating.
William Shakespeare said, “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” I must be a lot like Shakespeare, as I have a difficult time trusting most people, yet I truly love everyone.
Mutual trust is the highest form of angelic friendship God has given me. Individuals who fall into that category are my soul saviors, my confidants, and my true friends. I wholly agree with George MacDonald who writes, “Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly.”
Can you imagine a world where love and trust are synonymous? That would be my perfect Valentine’s gift!
