Embracing Life
Negative Detoxification: the 21-day challenge
I accepted the challenge. On May 4, 2008, my horoscope read, “Rise above the mundane. You don’t need to listen to stories of frustration, alienation and desperation. It isn’t that problems will disappear if you don’t discuss them, but they won’t be magnified.”
Confused by how that message pertained to me, I almost shrugged it off as nonsense. For some reason, I could not shake the feeling of a hidden clue buried in the newspaper that Sunday morning. My regular readers know how answers to my doubts come from unexpected sources. A haunting horoscope filled with illogical gibberish might not be unusual.
The Rev. Edwene Gaines, a guest minister at my church that day, preached a sermon meant to answer my questions. Gaines said coming into alignment with four spiritual laws brings prosperity, integrity, commitment, forgiveness and finding your personal purpose. Three of her four rules were not revelations, but her method of achieving Law 2 — Setting clear cut goals — became a concrete challenge.
The reverend dared the congregation to go on a 21-day fast from anger, gossip, cheating and hostility.
“Only then, when you have good intentions in your heart and on your mind, can you specify what it is you truly want — and figure how you can go about accomplishing and achieving those things,” Gaines said.
What a tough challenge! Fasting from food would have been easier.
Friendship Sunday followed that divine lecture, and I found myself feasting on a potluck lunch with my fellow worshipers. Encouraged and motivated, we pledged to follow Gaines’ advice. Conversation commenced as we boasted that our group was fully prepared for the challenge. Our discussion drifted to how we deserved second helpings of the delicious desserts and eventually ended by evaluating the economy.
Before any of us realized it, we placed blame, offered opinioned observations and became antagonistic toward our nation’s leaders. Less than one hour after making our promise, did we fail? As I left the revered grounds, I wondered how this lesson would change my life.
Gaines’ promise of clarity made the experiment irresistible. The timing was perfect, as I personally seemed stuck in a rut. My morning quiet time began to include prayer to refrain from feeling anger or resentment. Affirmations to develop an angelic attitude became a part of my daily ritual. Prayers and affirmations were easy; negative detoxification was difficult.
At first I worked at not thinking or speaking any negative thoughts. Simple? No! Soon, however, I found myself stopping mid-sentence, retracting cynical verbiage.
Suppressing pessimism takes a higher form of self-control. There is a fine line between analyzing and dealing with true daily dilemmas and drowning in unhealthy worries. Ignoring problems is not part of setting goals, but it is imperative to recognize the difference between a true quandary and a mentally manufactured monster.
Mastering a pure, devout mindset in three weeks was not possible. Embracing that level of internal peace is my current passion. Was setting this lofty lifetime goal enough? Both Gaines’ promise of clarity and the mysterious message of my horoscope became vividly clear when my answer was, “No.”
Lucidity required turning inward to dig out and dispose of my self-perceived shortcomings and disappointments. I found excuses. These excuses, fueled by fear, sucked away my ability to move forward. Everything in my past happened for a reason. My spiritual purpose is to help others with similar situations succeed. Was that realization enough?
No. Writing “Embracing Life” partially fulfilled my heavenly assignment, but I must do more by sharing the concept of my column beyond my readers. I selfishly wrote for myself and was satisfied if someone happened to read my words.
Taking a giant leap of faith, I spoke before groups of teenagers about my past, the therapeutic benefits of writing and having courage to conquer fears. For five decades, public speaking was an impossible chore. Yet, with the help of mentors, I finally moved forward. Was that forward step enough?
No. It was only the glorious beginning.
Donna Bonnell is a writer in Newberry.
She may be contacted at donna@towerpublications.