Order in the Meeting Room

You are at a meeting and are dying to put in your two cents. You raise your hand and patiently — or not — wait for the presiding officer to notice you. Or you stand up while someone is proselytizing over whether to accept outdoor clotheslines in your condominium neighborhood.

Or you storm the podium, questioning the current speaker’s parentage or their mother’s footwear.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Henry just won’t have any of this. Stop it. Right now. (Insert sound of gavel striking the hardwood block.)

We are speaking of General Henry Martyn Robert, the engineering officer of the U.S. Army who, in the late 1800s, was asked to preside over a church meeting. It seemed like a milk-and-cookies event, but it erupted into chaos. With tail tucked, he then took it upon himself to create Robert’s Rules of Order, setting methodology to running a meeting — or, as his first edition of RRO stated in 1876, “deliberate assemblies.”

Parliamentary procedure has since been the mainstay of keeping anarchy at bay — from local garden club meetings to state Legislative sessions.

According to the latest Robert’s Rules of Order Newly Revised (RONR; it is constantly being updated and is on its 10th edition):

Don’t raise your hand. Don’t stand up. Keep epithets to yourself.

“Raising your hand means nothing, and standing while another has the floor is out of order.”

“Remarks must be courteous in language and deportment — avoid all personalities, never allude to others by name or to motives.”

All this seems to make sense in a democratic course of events — if not elementary-school behavior — but there are police out there to make sure these, and a plethora of other politeness rules, stay in place.

Welcome to one of the 250 National Association of Parliamentarians (NAP) chapters, right here in Gainesville.

The Lois M. Emmel Parliamentary Law Unit (named after its first president 1966-68) meets once a month October through May and presents workshops throughout the year to help homeowner associations, student governments and motorcycle club members keep order and facilitate business that needs to be done — quickly, easily, and without a whole lot of bickering, hand-waving, name-calling or podium-storming.

OK, what about motions and seconds? (Silence means consent.) What is a majority? (It is 50 percent plus one, which means an 8-7 vote is not a majority.) Who gets to vote? (Usually not the president, and definitely not the parliamentarian.)

An expert in the realm is Gene Bierbaum, 75, current president and a 38-year member of this unit. He joined NAP in 1970. The former professor of communications at State University of New York-Cortland took a sabbatical to Gainesville to do some research. After a brief discussion with his wife (OK honey, choose: Shovel snow off the roof? Go to the beach in December?) he retired here at 59 and has been happily ensconced in proper meeting protocol ever since. He has his own Web site, http://ebierbaum.com, where people can get tips on how to handle crime watch neighborhoods or Girl Scout meetings in a regimented, orderly fashion.

However, he said the parliamentarians — the term parlement, to speak, comes initially from the French, but is generally associated with the United Kingdom (no powdered wigs required) — are in high demand.

“This is extremely important for large and small groups. People don’t realize how important it is,” to keep order in the meeting place, Bierbaum said.

Roselan Thayer, one of the older (and seriously older, she is 90) members of the group got involved simply as a hobby. And it has been an all-encompassing hobby for more than 30 years.

“It’s hard to read the books,” Thayer said. “They’re huge. But people need to know how to handle being in and conducting meetings. I’ve been to (Gainesville) city commission meetings, and a lot of times, it doesn’t look like anyone knows what anyone else is doing.”

Thayer spent most of her career as a teacher in Ohio, Georgia and other states. She has been a public speaker most of her life. She said she knows how keeping order is important.

New technology is changing the face of Robert’s Rules of Order. Conference calls create a whole new platform (one should never talk over another as they are making a point; interruptions are no-no’s; the chairman has the floor), and e-mail conferences further muddy the sharp-and-clear rules of who is up to bat and who is in line.

Bierbaum derives some income from being a professional parliamentarian for such groups as the Association of Junior Leagues International, The Military Order of the Purple Heart Foundation, the National Association of Music Clubs and the New York State Nurses Association.

Other visible members of the unit are Dr. Robert K. Casey, who served eight years in the Florida Legislature; Mac McEachern, an active member of the Gainesville Airport Authority and former Gainesville mayor/commissioner; Lorene Junkin, a past president of the Gainesville Garden Club, who currently serves as the unit’s own parliamentarian; and Carl Ann Stickeler, a past president of NAP.

Most of the unit’s members are actively involved with Gainesville organizations. Andrea Little, for example, serves as president of the Gainesville Garden Club, treasurer of the Oak Hammock Association, and has a long record of service with the National Secretaries Association and the American Cancer Society.

The group is, frankly, older, “but we are always on the lookout for new members” Bierbaum said.

Meetings of the Gainesville unit are held at 9:30 a.m. on the second Thursday of each month, October through May. Interested persons can contact Bierbaum at 352-333-2442 or by e-mail at ebierbaum@juno.com. §