Getting Rid of Things -Not an end, a beginning

One of the toughest moments in the life of an empty nester or retiree is knowing that the time has come to move into a smaller living space. It can certainly be physically and emotionally draining to move from a large and beloved home to a condo, smaller house or retirement home. It will be painful to part with things that hold precious memories. On the other hand, it could mean the beginning of a wonderful new phase of life.

In today’s society, consumer goods are abundant so people buy and collect for years. People are soon surrounded with stuff, much of which has outlived its usefulness. Will that prom dress ever be worn again? How about that waffle iron that is still in its original box that was a wedding present? That collection of cups and saucers has grown so over the years that now it takes up a full cabinet, crowding the figurines the kids gave you for your anniversaries. Are the hundreds of books the family has collected and revered through the years irreplaceable?

Now is the time to face reality. The house where a young couple raised a family is no longer appropriate for an older couple. The children have grown and moved away. Repairs to the house are costly. Stairs may be difficult to maneuver. Now is the time to adopt a new vocabulary. Suddenly, words like “downsize,” “declutter” or “organize” slip into people’s lives.

Cleaning out a lifetime of possessions will not be easy, but one way to make the purge less painful is to envision a future free of clutter. Remember that this is not an end, it is a beginning. People need not get rid of all their treasured belongings. Space can be found for things that are near and dear. It is a matter of choices.

There is no shortage of help out there. Go into any big discount or specialty store to find aisles and aisles of bins, containers and shelf components designed to help organize. There are hundreds of books filled with good tips to help with the job of decluttering and downsizing. And courses are available at local colleges. Often, TV programs on the home channel deal with the topic. Go online and type “downsize” or “declutter” or “home organizer” to find thousands of articles that can help.

Enlist the help of children or other relatives. If the chore is too difficult perhaps an objective outsider may be called in. Today, there are professional organizers who can help a homeowner downscale. Some give advice on organizing filing systems, office space, desktops, computers, time — and even thoughts.

As professional organizer Helen Kornblum, owner of Natural Order/Organizers, said, “organizing isn’t about stuff, it’s about life.”

An organizer might provide that objective link to help work through the fear that comes with getting rid of things no longer used or even liked, and help plan a new living space. The organizer may suggest considering the new space with current furniture and belongings to help determine what must be given away, sold, auctioned or donated to charity.

“Seniors are more prone to avoiding downsizing because of their lifetime habits and mental scripts,” Kornblum said. “I like to challenge this kind of thinking, guiding people to viewing the change in a positive, rather than negative way.

“Organizing leads you to the quality of life and the opportunities that will make your life more meaningful and satisfying.”

She recommends passing along a valuable family heirloom or keepsake to a family member rather than leaving it to become part of the estate.

“It gives more pleasure if you plan,” Kornblum said. “Pass along treasures to appropriate members of the family. I know everyone’s stuff is precious, but maybe someone else could enjoy it more.”

Keeping things keeps us from enjoying the future, she said.

Betsy P. Skinner, owner of Pro/Organizer, has coined the word “right size” rather than “downsize.” She maintains that it is necessary to assess one’s living space and determine whether it is the right size to suit current needs.

“Later in life, right-sizing our home may be a necessity when safety, quality of life and independence are at stake,” Skinner said. She recalled that her grandmother was moved from house to assisted living when she no longer could act on her own behalf.

“The transition was stressful and hurried,” she said. “Grandmother had no time to adapt and enjoy her new home. Her separation from her things was traumatic.”

Her mother, on the other hand, was proactive in selecting her own space. She took the time to research and plan.

“She had the wherewithal to settle at her own pace, make new friends, cultivate important professional support and get familiar with the amenities of her own home,” Skinner said.

With planning, objective counseling and maintaining a positive outlook, moving into a new phase of life can be a most satisfying adventure. Just remember: these are the first steps to a brighter future and a less stressful life.

Elizabeth Wilson is a freelance writer in Gainesville. She may be contacted through the editor: editor@towerpublications.com