Putting Sanity into an Insane Holiday Season

"...The breathless rushing
     That I had known in the past
Shall not possess me. I shall be calm in my soul
     And ready at last
     For Christmas..."

-"Facing Christmas" by Grace Noll Crowell

Has the holiday season lost its charm and become more of a burden than a joy? Want to simplify the season, find some sanity and peace, and actually enjoy the holidaysStop, take a deep breath and read these timesaving, sanity-saving, holiday-saving tips!

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT HOLIDAY
Repeat this over and over again until it sticks. It is about letting go of perfection, or at least redefining it.

"Once that is accepted, you'll be better able to handle the ebb and flow of the holiday season," said Linda Richards, a professional organizer and owner of Organize and More in Gainesville, in a recent e-mail interview.

TRADITIONS
This is about de-stressing the holidays - stressing traditions, rather than stressing out.

Before the holiday season begins, call a family meeting. Re-evaluate each of the family traditions. Take a vote, or have each member choose his or her favorite two traditions. Keep only the ones that have real meaning to the family, and let go of the rest.

"You might discover that the elaborate Christmas morning breakfast that you assumed they all loved is actually something they don't even care about," Richards said. "That is exactly what I found out years ago when my children were small."

What they really wanted, Richards said, was a quick breakfast so they could hurry and open their gifts, so she happily abandoned her time-consuming, energy-zapping, made-from-scratch breakfast menu in favor of her children's request of quick and easy cinnamon rolls and chocolate milk.

Perhaps the grandkids have outgrown some of the traditions they enjoyed as youngsters. While young kids may love stringing popcorn or making paper chains for the Christmas tree, teenagers may rather eat microwave popcorn and watch a favorite holiday movie together as a family, she said.

REFLECT ON PAST HOLIDAYS
"Try to do more of what worked, and less of what didn't," Richards stressed.
It is common sense, but Richards said people often get so caught up in the holiday frenzy that they do not stop to consider it.
If efforts to make a homemade pecan pie have always been disastrous, release the expectation that it must be homemade, buy one from the store, and relax.

DECORATIONS
If remembering how the garland should be arranged on the tree every year is a struggle, Richards recommended this method:
"When the Christmas tree is decorated, take a picture, print it and put it in an envelope in the garland box," Richards said. Next year, refer to the picture to know exactly how to arrange the garland. This saves a lot of time and frustration. This also works well with arranging collections and scenes with decorations.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
If one is a collector and feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the collections, try taking out only some of it.
Display only 30 of the angels, instead of all 150 this year. Next year, choose a different 30.
"This helps you manage your collection, instead of feeling like it is managing you," she said.

CREATE A MASTER HOLIDAY NOTEBOOK
Using a three-ring binder, label dividers with the major categories related to holiday preparations, i.e., Christmas Card Address List, Gift Ideas, Master Planning Calendar, Christmas Dinner. Refer to it in November and update information every January. This eliminates having to "reinvent the wheel" every season, Richards said.

USE PAPER GOODS
Purchase holiday paper plates, cups, napkins and utensils to use for some meals. Children enjoy them, and it saves on clean-up time.

DELETE DREADED ACTIVITIES
"If it's that bad, why do it? Doing something that we don't like to do, and don't find meaningful, can create stress, and it's helpful to delete as many of these activities as we can," Richards said.
Consider sending pre-printed cards or a pre-printed Christmas letter, or a Happy New Year letter, or a Happy Spring letter, instead of time-consuming, hand-written Christmas cards.

DELEGATE
"If you find yourself muttering every Christmas dinner, 'This is not fair. I'm stuck in the kitchen cooking while everyone else is relaxing in the living room,' stop doing it," Richards said. "Call a family meeting, explain you'd like to relax like they are and you need everyone's help."
Prepare the menu. Write someone's name by each item. Assign tasks to each person. Young children can help, too. The reward is two-fold.
"Children learn a basic life skill (cooking) while they are helping you," Richards said.

JUST SAY NO
This is the season of parties, get-togethers, and eating out, but try not to schedule something for every day of the season. Set a limit to the number of accepted invitations. Use that time to spend with family or to relax.

NO ONE LIKES A GRINCH
The old adage "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy," is true.

"When you, as the caretaker of the holidays, act like a Grinch for the entire holiday season because you feel stressed or worn out, realize that it can put a damper on the season for your entire family," Richards said.

Taking time to care of one's health with rest, exercise and eating right is a good way to keep exhaustion and stress at bay.

Prayer, meditation, deep-breathing exercises and yoga also help relieve stress.

Richards suggested taking healthy snacks and water when tackling a long day of shopping.

Recharge the batteries. Get a massage or relax by reading magazines at the library. Do this the week before Christmas when life seems especially crazy.

"A change of pace or scenery can re-energize you," Richards said. "By taking care of yourself, you'll have more energy to take care of the extra demands that the holidays can lay on your shoulders."

THE IMPORTANCE OF SOLITUDE
Solitude is essential to well-being. There are easy ways to invite more solitude into one's life.

To enjoy the quiet, get up early before everyone wakes.

Turn off the car radio. Ride in silence. Resist the urge to turn on music or news.
Take a walk outside without music. Really listen to the sounds of nature.

FAMILY TIME
Have a literal Silent Night. Declare a no-noise night once a week. Turn off the music, TVs, computers, video games, etc. Talk, or do quiet activities with the grandkids.

Eat dinner by candlelight - but never leave candles unattended. Hushed tones seem to come naturally in candlelight. Perhaps extend this to the evening. Turn off lights. Do quiet activities together as a family by candlelight. Young children will love this.

Enjoy some fireplace magic. Get a fire going in the fireplace and have dinner on a card table close to it. Make it fancy with a tablecloth and some candles.

"You have a memorable and peaceful evening that all ages can enjoy," Richards said.

Sit together beneath the Christmas tree. Read holiday stories. There is something special about lying at the foot of a tree (even an artificial one) and looking up to see the inside of the tree.

SIMPLICITY
"...I shall take time to watch the beautiful light of a candle's flame..." - Grace Noll Crowell

Remember holidays past. Sometimes the fondest memories come from something so simple.

"One of my favorite memories as a child was the week before Christmas, my father and I lit several candles, and then watched them flicker as we sat quietly enjoying the scene," Richards said. "[This] took only a minute to do, but [it] was a favorite memory for me."

SHORT-CUTS
Richards suggested using remotes and automatic timers to turn on and off decorations and interior and exterior lights.

Save time, frustration and gas. Avoid malls, lines and parking problems. Do as much shopping as possible online.

GIFT-GIVING
If the "to buy" list is too long, Richards suggested making it easier by "buying multiples of one gift that can be enjoyed by several different people."

Try buying gift certificates to a favorite restaurant. This is much quicker than buying customized gifts. A certificate is quick and easy to buy and even quicker and easier to wrap, Richards said.

Set up two lists in a holiday notebook or PDA: The first is for 'potential gifts,' the other for 'gifts given,' During the year, write in ideas for potential gifts, i.e., Grandmother wants a large print Bible. Refer to the list to speed up holiday shopping. Richards said the 'gifts-given' list prevents accidentally buying the same gift the next year.

Diane Shepard is a freelance writer from the Green Cove Springs area.
She may be contacted at diane@towerpublications.com