The Surprising Roots of Mother's Day
Never Meant to be a Hallmark Holiday
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Mother's Day. Everything lies within its name. It is not Mothers' Day; it is Mother's Day. Singular Possessive. One mother. One day.
Anna Jarvis, the founder of today's tradition, felt this was an important distinction, emphasizing it as a personal day between a person and his or her mother."She was creating a day for all mothers -- living or dead," said Olive Dadisman, director of the Anna Jarvis Birthplace Museum. "If your mother was alive, she wanted you to visit or write to them."
What her day later turned into haunted Anna for the rest of her life.
Taking Root
Before Anna, many people advocated for a mother's day. Poet Julia Ward Howe, Notre Dame Head Football Coach Frank E. Hering and Anna's own mother, Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis, all fought for the day. Although a latecomer, Anna accomplished what none could: she made it official.
"No one went to Congress and wanted it a law until Anna," Dadisman said.
Anna's struggle began May 9, 1905 -- the second Sunday of the month -- the day her mother passed away. It was then she vowed to fulfill her mother's dream.
Just two years later, Anna gathered with friends and shared her vision for not only a Mother's Day but also a national holiday. By the next year, Anna arranged two official mother's day celebrations: one at the Wanamaker Auditorium in the Wanamaker's store. The other was at Andrew's Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, W. Va., where Anna's mother attended church, Dadisman said. To celebrate the occasion, Anna sent 500 carnations to the church.
"Each child was asked to hand [the carnation] to their mother," she said. "She chose carnations because the petals do not fall off."
For years, Anna continued campaigning, traveling and writing letters, pushing for a holiday. By 1910, Anna asked each governor to join her Mother's Day Association and proclaim the day in their respective states, Dadisman said. In the end, 17 governors proclaimed mother's day that year.
Later, "she lobbied in Congress, and was friends with Woodrow Wilson," she said. "Wilson loved his mother."
Her friendship with President Wilson turned out to be important. The year following President Wilson's election, he "issued a proclamation on May 9, 1914, asking Americans to give a public expression of reverence to mothers through the celebration of Mother's Day," according to the Library of Congress Web site.
Anna's dream had come to fruition after nine years of effort.
"A lot of people have no clue how Mother's Day started," Dadisman said. "It was a lot of hard work by one person."
Fighting Commercialism
Even before Mother's Day became an official holiday, Anna started noticing changes centered around that weekend in May.
Just as that first year when she sent carnations to her hometown church, the next year she sent 1,000 carnations and the following year in 1910, she purchased 1,500 carnations for the service, Dadisman said.
During that three-year period, Anna observed the price of flowers increasing.
"When it went up to 5 cents, she no longer bought flowers," she said. "She refused."
During the years following the official proclamation, Anna grew disillusioned with the sales and promotions surrounding her holiday. By the 1940s, she was extremely vocal about how commercialism poisoned the spirit of the day.
"Everywhere she went there was something commercialized about Mother's Day," Dadisman said. "She was obsessed with Mother's Day not being honored the way she thought it should."
Disgusted with the amount of money being made off the holiday, Anna routinely protested events, accosted people and even sent a letter criticizing First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt.
Eventually, Anna tried to make a deal with the flower and card companies, Dadisman said. If they gave a percentage of their profits to charity, she would stop protesting commercialism.
They refused.
Anna redoubled her efforts and circulated a petition to have Mother's Day repealed.
"Even though she was in her 70s, she would not have given up until it was resigned," Dadisman said. "She was a hard-headed woman."
Anna would never succeed. Years later, on Nov. 24, 1948, a penniless Anna passed away in Marshall Square Sanitarium in West Chester, Pa. Unbeknownst to her, the florist exchange and card companies paid her bills, keeping her in a place where she could not continue her petition.
"Anna wasn't a kook, it was her passion and love of her mother that she wanted this day," Dadisman said.
Looking to the Future
"In terms of a family ritual [Mother's Day] provides a certain context -- provides appreciation," said UF Ph.D. candidate Jeanne Holcomb, who studies sociology with a focus on family relationships.
A holiday like Mother's Day does put an emphasis on the traditional family, but in today's society of complicated family units, such a day can also highlight tensions in a family that may have non-conventional caretakers such as stepparents or grandparents, or guardians, Holcomb said.
"Instead of having separate [holidays], it would be more ideal to have one day for all caregivers," Holcomb said, adding that within some groups, alternative caretakers are not always recognized.
Could these complicated family relationships eventually change the face of holidays such as Mother's and Father's Day? §
Celebrating Anna's Way
Anna's Mother's Day was different from today's celebrations. She did not want people to buy their mothers cards or candy.
"Candy gets eaten, the flowers die and your cards get thrown away," said Olive Dadisman, director of the Anna Jarvis Birthplace Museum, of Anna's theory regarding gifts.
Instead, Anna wanted people to spend time with their mothers, or write a hand-written letter expressing their feelings.
If a present was preferable, Anna felt a person "should buy [their mother] something that will make her comfortable, such as a chair."
