Healthy Edge
Avoid Family Conflict And Guilt, Complete Your Living Will
What's your first thought when you hear the words "living will?" Do you think of the new politically-charged words "Death Panel" or perhaps, "everyone needs one?" Living wills, also called advanced directives, aren't about a group of physicians and insurance companies deciding how you should die. They're about your freedom to choose the care you want (or don't want) if you're ever direly ill or injured and unable to communicate.
Talking about our end-of-life is tough. Yet, whether we're 21 or 101, we must plan for death before we face it.
Remember the heart-breaking, well-publicized Terri Schiavo situation? Mrs. Schiavo's case pitted her husband against her in-laws as they fought through the U.S. Supreme Court about Mrs. Schiavo's life support.Terri Schiavo lapsed into a coma when she was 26. With a documented Living Will, her wishes would have been clear.
What's a living will?
Living wills ensure that our medical treatment wishes will be carried out if (and only if) we are terminal and can't communicate. They're designed to respect our individual wishes and values. Most importantly, they protect our loved ones from the pain, guilt and uncertainty when agonizing over our next medical steps if we can't tell them what we want and need.
At the most basic level, living wills are legally-binding short forms that allow you to ultimately choose or refuse artificial life support. In Florida, this includes food and water for the terminally ill.
Yet, Sally Hurme, an AARP consumer protection attorney, believes that living wills should cover more than the basics. "The paper should be the memorialization of the conversation you've had with your family," says Ms. Hurme. "An advance directive is not just to terminate care but to express your preference for the care you wish to receive."
What living wills are not: the embodiment of the "Death Panel." Doctors commonly engage in uncompensated end-of-life discussions with patients and their families. Death Panel became a misrepresentation of these consultations for which the health care reform bill proposes to reimburse doctors.
Why do so few of my friends have living wills?
Three out of four of us still don't have living wills.
In general, we don't want to talk about our deaths, and in many cases, family members will sabotage frank conversations about death because they're uncomfortable with the discussion.
If you don't have a living will, you're not reducing the guesswork in how to manage your care for your family.
I want to complete a living will. Now what?
Get Five Wishes. Aging with Dignity's Five Wishes is a do-it-yourself living will template that gives you the opportunity to comprehensively document your wishes.
Five Wishes is unique among living wills in that it addresses all needs: medical, personal, spiritual and emotional. It also provides structure to end-of-life discussions you may have with your family and doctor, and it meets legal requirements in Florida and 40 other states.
Five Wishes let's you spell out:
1. Which person you want to make health care decisions for you if you can't make them.
2. The kind of medical treatment you want (or don't want).
3. How comfortable you want to be.
4. How you want people to treat you.
5. What you want your loved ones to know.
You can get Five Wishes from Haven Hospice (havenhospice.org) free-of-charge, and it's available in English and Spanish.
Also, look into getting the 28-minute Five Wishes video to guide you through the discussions you need to complete your living will. The video can be found at www.agingwithdignity.org.
Choose a health proxy, wisely. Because living wills can't prepare for every situation, you need a health proxy. A health proxy is a loved one you have chosen to represent you if ever needed.
When picking your health proxy, make sure you choose someone who:
* understands your end-of-life wishes and values
* can navigate the medical system
* can manage your other loved ones in stressful situations
Coach your health proxy. Together, you and your proxy should review the American Bar Association's Commission on Law and Aging pamphlet called "Making Medical Decisions For Someone Else: A How-To Guide." This guide can be found at www.abanet.org/aging/pdfs/genlproxyguide2009.pdf.
Remember, you will not be denied medical care if your condition is curable. Living wills are only in effect if you have a terminal illness or injury. You can also stipulate to which terminal conditions your living will applies.
I completed my living will. Now what?
Give copies to your doctors, health proxy, attorney and family. If you ever go to the hospital, your living will should accompany you.
If you completed your living will in another state, don't worry. Other state's living wills are accepted in Florida.
Need more information?
* Go to AARP.org and type in Advanced Directives in the search engine.
* Contact Haven Hospice at 1-800-727-1889 and tell them that you are inquiring about Five Wishes.
* Additionally, the Florida Bar Speakers Bureau members address civic and community organizations throughout the state on living wills for free. To schedule a Florida Bar speaker, groups should call 1-800-342-8060 x5767.
If you don't complete a living will for yourself, do it for your family. §
Kendra Siler-Marsiglio, Ph.D. is the Director of the Rural Health Partnership at WellFlorida Council, a state-certified, non-profit organization.
