Perspectives On Aging
Understanding Your Adolescent Grandchild
Adolescence is a difficult stage of life. On occasions, it is not easy to understand or tolerate their unpredictable behavior. They are, after all, a mass of contradictions, having attachment to their parents and at the same time rebelling against their authority. They are independent, yet helpless; idealistic but cynical; righteous but often irresponsible; at times jolly and at other times morose; talkative and taciturn -- and we can keep mentioning the many contradictions often found at this stage of life. No wonder they are difficult to live with. They worship their mothers and fathers yet often criticize their actions. At times, they feel they can accomplish any task at hand, and at other times they feel helpless and inadequate.
The adolescent has one foot in childhood and the other in adulthood. He or she doesn't know what to prefer -- to be a child or an adult -- and they keep fluctuating between the two worlds, the world of play and fantasy left behind and the reality of adulthood that lies ahead. They are pulled in both directions, adding to their confusion. The insecurity of the adolescence is at times very much in evidence, but at other times hidden behind a façade of power and omnipotence that makes them appear boastful and self-assured, when they are really covering up their feelings of insecurity.
At this stage of life, their personality is already strong or weak, according to their temperament and rearing conditions during their childhood years. The strong are already showing signs of maturity, knowing where they are heading, who they are, what they want out of life, and how to behave in order to get there. The weak, on the other hand, tend to remain rooted in the dependency of childhood and the search for who they are.
Adolescent grandchildren often seek out their grandparents in order to assert their identity, falling back on the values and traditions of the elders in their family. This is among the many important roles Seniors have yet to play in their long lives. §
Dr. Carlos Muniz is a retired psychiatrist from Gainesville. He may be contacted through the editor at editor@towerpublications.com
